I haven't done this in awhile

1. I hate losing.

2. Colts fans are wuss bags.

3. The Drew Brees "I'm going to Disneyland" commercial makes me mad. Not because he's going to Disneyland, but because it still stings that the Colts lost.

4. Buddy Guy is an amazing performer.

5. BB King used to be an amazing performer. He played for 30 minutes, then talked for 45. I felt so bad for my dad who had waited all these years to see two of his guitar idols and he got Buddy Guy & an old, fat, creepy man.

6. I like a girl so much it hurts and she can't like me back. I hate that.

7. I should see a John Mayer show every night. It makes the next day a lot better.

8. I'm very, very excited for NBA All-Star weekend. My DVR is going to explode between trying to balance that and the opening weekend of the Olympics.

9. I think conservatives who say things like "What change?" are idiots. Obama has tried to change things and, who else, conservatives have blocked his attempts.

10. I also think people who complain about global warming are idiots. Just because it's cold outside doesn't mean we haven't effected the environment significantly.

11. I'm really excited for baseball season. Pitchers and catchers report next week!

12. The view out of my office is a lot better when the sky is blue.

13. I spend so much time trying to fix other things I almost never think to work on myself.

14. I taught a female friend how to change spark plugs last night. She'll probably never have to do it again in her life, but she was excited to learn.

15. I watched "The Hurt Locker" the other night. It was okay. The acting was phenomenal, but it wasn't what I like in a movie.

16. I designed a postcard that's going into print next week. I'm very excited about that.

17. I hope I remember to go to lunch early today. I have a meeting at 1:00 and usually eat lunch at 12:30-12:45ish. I'd be very hungry if I waited til 2:00 to eat.

18. That's all I got for you today.

19. Enjoy your weekend.

23. is my favorite number.

I'm not together, but I'm getting there...

As I'm sure many of you have heard by now, John Mayer is an idiot.

In an interview with Playboy (full read here) that released on Tuesday, Mr. Mayer couldn't control himself. He called his penis a "white supremacist," talked about his sexual relationship with Jessica Simpson in a very un-gentlemanly manner, and might have used the n-word a couple times.

Needless to say, all three of these things caused a significant backlash.

I've invested the last nine years of my life into John Mayer and his music. I'm regularly post on a message dedicated to the man and his music, I talk daily to fellow Mayer fans through various social media outlets, and there is rarely a day I go without listening to his music. The majority of the past nine years as a fan have been great. His music is spectacular and I fully relate to his uncontrollable need to over-think everything.

On the message board, many of the poster's are reacting by lashing out against him for what he said. I can understand their frustrations because he shouldn't have said what he did, but I'm more frustrated with the person he's allowed himself to become.

Someone spoke up saying how many people this interview hurt. Here was my response:

"I don't think he's hurt people in a sense of true hurt. It's more a sense of surprise, disbelief, and let down. I've been a fan for nine years now and this is the person he always told us he'd never be. That's what "hurts" me. The John Mayer I learned to love was kind and clever and passionate about music; he was so self-aware that he knew he wasn't cool enough to sit at the big kids table yet; he knew he had a role to play, but wasn't quite sure of that role. The John Mayer that's been in the media the last couple years is not that guy. He's arrogant, brash, and seems like he takes for granted what he has. I understand that he has become infinitely more popular in recent years, but it wasn't supposed to affect him like this. I'm probably longing for the days when you knew a John Mayer interview was going to make you laugh and think about something from a perspective you'd never seen before. Fame has taken that sense of insecurity and replaced it with a sense of self-infatuation. He used to love out-thinking the interviewer, now he gets off on out-clevering them, except he left his cleverness in 2006."

(I'm not sure I need quotes when they are my own words, but Blogger is a pain and wouldn't cooperate with me indenting)

I hate that I care so much about the situation, but I do. John Mayer's music opened my eyes to a new world. I would never have gone to see B.B. King and Buddy Guy with my dad on Monday night if it weren't for John Mayer. I wouldn't play the guitar myself if it weren't for John Mayer. I wouldn't have several of my friends in my life without John Mayer.

At his concert Tuesday here in Nashville, he apologized for what he had said. 99% of the audience didn't know what he was talking about, but for those who did, it was much needed. I was glad I was there to see it live. (There are several video's of it online if you'd like to see it.) I hope he's sincere and truly changes his ways. The man has amazing music ability and is truly risking his life with the choices he's making lately (not just the interview). As a fan who cares, I really hope he turns things around.

It's been a long time since 22...

Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa

Yesterday during work, a local restaurant, tweeted that Kevin Costner had just left after eating. Being a huge fan of Field of Dreams, I texted a friend that we should find him and ask him if he "wants to have a catch." I told my brother about this and he laughed that I wanted to play catch with Kevin Costner, but he knew I was serious.

Chatting with a friend last night, we somehow came to the topic of death and dying. We discussed relatives who had died, our experiences with those situations, and also if we were afraid to die. We both agreed that we were afraid to die young, but not afraid of death at an old age as it is how life ends.

The question was posed of what we would do if we knew we only had a week to live. We both agreed that we would spend as much time as possible with our families; that was the most important thing. My friend went on to answer about eating fine food and throwing caution to the wind. My only other answer was a bit less extreme:

I would want to play catch with my dad.

I'm not an overly emotional person and I haven't cried in almost nine years, but this thought brought an immediate lump to my throat (I didn't cry, for the record). Having just referenced Field of Dreams earlier in the day, all I could see is Ray and John Kinsella playing catch on that magnificent field in Iowa, both with tears in their eyes. The next few minutes were filled with images of my dad and I playing catch in our backyard: me having to run into the neighbors yard to find the ball I let get by my glove, Dad having to chase down the ball I threw over his head, the crisp pop of the ball hitting the heel of my glove, and the smiles on our faces when we'd walk inside together when it was finally too dark to see the ball.

What's my point in all of this sentimental rambling? 1) Field of Dreams is my favorite movie. I feel bad for Remember the Titans for being dropped, but the more mature, moved-away-from-home Moles will take Field of Dreams. 2) There is nothing more important to me than my family. 3) Playing catch is one of the best things ever. A friend of mine wrote an article for our college newspaper that world leaders should play catch to work out their differences. I believe that would work more times than not.

Over the next two and a half weeks, my dad will be in town twice to go see two concerts: B.B. King and Buddy Guy together, and Eric Clapton. The setting won't be our backyard for these shows, but we will definitely come inside after dark with smiles on our faces.

"Hey.....Dad? Wanna have a catch?"

"I'd like that."

[This will forever sit in my saved drafts folder. I often blog about sad and thoughtful topics, but never have I shared something that I honestly thought would make my parents cry when they read it. As much as I'd love to let them read this to know that I'd like nothing more than to spend time with them before I go, I can't put them through the thought of it.]

My friends, step up your game.

Dear American Idiots,

I've noticed in the past few days that many of you have been complaining about our efforts in Haiti. You bring up the on-going situation in New Orleans and the countless other problems in this country, saying they're more important than issues outside of our comfortable nation.

I hate to rain on your parade that is closed-mindedness and ignorance, but I'm going to.

We're sending help to Haiti because they need it. It doesn't matter who they are or what else is going on in the world; when a nation that already was almost completely distraught with poverty before it's only major city was destroyed, we send help. We're the United States of America and that's what we do.

I understand your complaint that there is still massive amounts of work needed in New Orleans & thousands of other places, but we can't comprehend the pain & suffering going on in Haiti. I feel like an international asshole just living the life I do compared to what they had (had, not have, that's even worse).

It's ironic and tragic that at a time when our country is divided on the issue of health care, the issue of offering health care to those with literally none has somehow arisen. Before the quake, there were only two physicians per 10,000 Haitians. There are thirteen times as many doctors per capita in the United States.

So, get off your American high horse, look up sympathy on Google (funny thing, they can't do that in Haiti), and then show some. Give $5.00 to UNICEF, the Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, or any organization with help on the ground in Haiti. They truly need it more than we do at a time like this.

From one asshole to another,
Moles

Don't let your heart get heavy child, inside you there's a strength that lies...

I sat down tonight to write this blog about how deep, emotional, and thoughtful this past week has been. I started and deleted at least 10 attempts, which is about six over my normal pace. As the evening has gone on, I've realized that instead on focusing what I've gone through I need to focus on how I'm come out the other side.

My week was filled with the passing of a high school friend and having to help a friend through a very difficult situation. I ate dinner tonight with a homeless man named Kermit. Hearing about his life and the situations he's been in was extraordinary humbling.

I've kept myself upbeat most of the week, but it's been tough sometimes. I pushed myself as an emotional being this week and it felt good. It was certainly frightening at times, but sometimes you have to face your fears no matter what they are to help a friend.

I was chatting with my friend Annie this evening, telling her about the week that had been and my evening at church. She listened and confirmed my thought that life is humbling, and then sent me this:

That's what friends are for.

"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."

-Mary Tyler Moore

(I really wish someone cooler had said that, like Teddy Roosevelt or Rocky)

I'm from the city in the Midwest best city in the whole wide wide world

I've started typing this blog and deleted it three times already this morning.

Make that four.

I hate trying to force a blog.

I had a lot on my mind yesterday while driving home. I spent nine days in Indiana around Christmas, the most time I've spent there since I moved. In one of my earlier deletions, I had started it with "I spent nine days at home..." and now I typed "...while driving home [to Tennessee]" without thinking.

There's a scene in Garden State where they discuss what home is that describes everything that was on my mind yesterday, and still is today:

Andrew: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Sam: I still feel at home in my house.
Andrew: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start; it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is: a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.

I lived in my parents home for more than 23 years before I moved to Tennessee. This past week was probably the most normal time back I’ve had since I moved. I’ve made trips home for no reason, trips home for funerals, and trips home for holidays in the past 29 months, but none were as normal, and great, as this last trip home.

Much of it has to do with our family having the best Christmas we’ve had in several years. Four years ago, my Grandpa Moles was beginning to decline and had finally let on how sick he was. Three years ago, he passed away three days before Christmas, making the holiday a very somber occasion. Two years ago, I had to work every day around Christmas and didn’t get to spend much time with family, or truly appreciate that time because I was so tired. Last year, my sister was overseas and my Grandpa Bennett wasn’t doing very well (he died weeks later).
Our family has changed dramatically in the past three years. My parents went from having two sons at home and a daughter away at college to two sons living in Tennessee and a daughter who has decided to permanently stay in her college town. We have gone from three living grandparents to only one. My Aunt’s husband (now ex) decided to leave her suddenly and she is still healing from those wounds.

Some of my fondest memories come from Christmases and Thanksgivings where we had too many people to fit in one room for dinner, when opening presents took the entire morning because we’d watch each person open one gift at a time with 13 or 14 people in the circle, and when we’d watch Christmas Vacation (having to fast-forward through the pool dream sequence until we were old enough) or Dumb & Dumber after dinner.

This Christmas, though, I think we all came together under the same umbrella of missing that imaginary place we used to know and love. We’ve all finally accepted (so some point) the idea that though our close family may be smaller, there is still as much love and joy and caring as there was before.

I will forever hold onto the idea of home and that idea(l) will always live in Terre Haute, Indiana.

I’m going home again this weekend to spend more time with friends during New Years and also to see my beloved Indiana State Sycamores play three games. I’m quickly realizing how precious the days are under my imaginary umbrella.

I wanna watch Garden State.

I forgot a title. Eff it.

1. Jay-Z is the absolute coolest man on earth. After seeing him Friday, there is no doubt in my mind that is has become fact. Zack Morris could probably give him a run for this money, but I'm just not sure "Friends Forever" creates the same energy that "99 Problems" does.

2. John Mayer's new album "Battle Studies" released today. It's very good. I've been listening for over a week now (he leaked it on the radio last Monday) and am impressed with where he went with the album, but only blown away by a couple tracks. He's playing an album release show in NYC tonight and it's being shown live on Fuse, so I'm very excited to both see a John Mayer show and hear the live versions of the new tracks.

3. Boyz II Men also released a new album today. It's a series of cover songs dealing with love and from what I heard it sounds very good. Their "Open Arms" (Journey) cover is spectacular.

4. Boyz II Men and John Mayer are probably the only two artists that I actually buy the physical cd when it comes out. I think I've missed one Boyz II Men album (Throwback) but I have almost everything else they've ever released. I think it shows a certain sense of dedication when you buy the physical cd. It says, "I'm only going to look at that cd case right after I buy it, but I'm willing to make room for it for the next 27 years. I'm willing to do that for you."

5. The Colts v. Patriots game on Sunday was probably the most exciting football game I've seen since the Colts v. Bucs game in 2003 (Colts won in OT after being down 35-14 with 4 minutes left). I'm probably biased since the Colts won both of those games, but I think most would agree these two games are two of the best comebacks of all-time. And any time Bill Belichick can look like even more of a tool in his cut-off hoodie, I'm for it.

6. I need to take more time to blog. It seems like I start, stop, and delete more posts than those that actually are published. I read 10 or 12 blogs regularly and enjoy reading them, so why shouldn't I try to provide that same enjoyment to others? And I'm sure I'm overwhelmingly more entertaining than the blogs I read, so it's almost a disservice to the world if I don't blog.

7. Spellcheck is telling me I spelled "Boyz" incorrectly. What do they know?

8. Eight is enough for today. I'm gone.

9. P.S. Go check out "Edge of Desire" by Mayer on YouTube. I'd say it's his finest album song yet. Then buy the album.