I haven't done this in awhile

1. I hate losing.

2. Colts fans are wuss bags.

3. The Drew Brees "I'm going to Disneyland" commercial makes me mad. Not because he's going to Disneyland, but because it still stings that the Colts lost.

4. Buddy Guy is an amazing performer.

5. BB King used to be an amazing performer. He played for 30 minutes, then talked for 45. I felt so bad for my dad who had waited all these years to see two of his guitar idols and he got Buddy Guy & an old, fat, creepy man.

6. I like a girl so much it hurts and she can't like me back. I hate that.

7. I should see a John Mayer show every night. It makes the next day a lot better.

8. I'm very, very excited for NBA All-Star weekend. My DVR is going to explode between trying to balance that and the opening weekend of the Olympics.

9. I think conservatives who say things like "What change?" are idiots. Obama has tried to change things and, who else, conservatives have blocked his attempts.

10. I also think people who complain about global warming are idiots. Just because it's cold outside doesn't mean we haven't effected the environment significantly.

11. I'm really excited for baseball season. Pitchers and catchers report next week!

12. The view out of my office is a lot better when the sky is blue.

13. I spend so much time trying to fix other things I almost never think to work on myself.

14. I taught a female friend how to change spark plugs last night. She'll probably never have to do it again in her life, but she was excited to learn.

15. I watched "The Hurt Locker" the other night. It was okay. The acting was phenomenal, but it wasn't what I like in a movie.

16. I designed a postcard that's going into print next week. I'm very excited about that.

17. I hope I remember to go to lunch early today. I have a meeting at 1:00 and usually eat lunch at 12:30-12:45ish. I'd be very hungry if I waited til 2:00 to eat.

18. That's all I got for you today.

19. Enjoy your weekend.

23. is my favorite number.

I'm not together, but I'm getting there...

As I'm sure many of you have heard by now, John Mayer is an idiot.

In an interview with Playboy (full read here) that released on Tuesday, Mr. Mayer couldn't control himself. He called his penis a "white supremacist," talked about his sexual relationship with Jessica Simpson in a very un-gentlemanly manner, and might have used the n-word a couple times.

Needless to say, all three of these things caused a significant backlash.

I've invested the last nine years of my life into John Mayer and his music. I'm regularly post on a message dedicated to the man and his music, I talk daily to fellow Mayer fans through various social media outlets, and there is rarely a day I go without listening to his music. The majority of the past nine years as a fan have been great. His music is spectacular and I fully relate to his uncontrollable need to over-think everything.

On the message board, many of the poster's are reacting by lashing out against him for what he said. I can understand their frustrations because he shouldn't have said what he did, but I'm more frustrated with the person he's allowed himself to become.

Someone spoke up saying how many people this interview hurt. Here was my response:

"I don't think he's hurt people in a sense of true hurt. It's more a sense of surprise, disbelief, and let down. I've been a fan for nine years now and this is the person he always told us he'd never be. That's what "hurts" me. The John Mayer I learned to love was kind and clever and passionate about music; he was so self-aware that he knew he wasn't cool enough to sit at the big kids table yet; he knew he had a role to play, but wasn't quite sure of that role. The John Mayer that's been in the media the last couple years is not that guy. He's arrogant, brash, and seems like he takes for granted what he has. I understand that he has become infinitely more popular in recent years, but it wasn't supposed to affect him like this. I'm probably longing for the days when you knew a John Mayer interview was going to make you laugh and think about something from a perspective you'd never seen before. Fame has taken that sense of insecurity and replaced it with a sense of self-infatuation. He used to love out-thinking the interviewer, now he gets off on out-clevering them, except he left his cleverness in 2006."

(I'm not sure I need quotes when they are my own words, but Blogger is a pain and wouldn't cooperate with me indenting)

I hate that I care so much about the situation, but I do. John Mayer's music opened my eyes to a new world. I would never have gone to see B.B. King and Buddy Guy with my dad on Monday night if it weren't for John Mayer. I wouldn't play the guitar myself if it weren't for John Mayer. I wouldn't have several of my friends in my life without John Mayer.

At his concert Tuesday here in Nashville, he apologized for what he had said. 99% of the audience didn't know what he was talking about, but for those who did, it was much needed. I was glad I was there to see it live. (There are several video's of it online if you'd like to see it.) I hope he's sincere and truly changes his ways. The man has amazing music ability and is truly risking his life with the choices he's making lately (not just the interview). As a fan who cares, I really hope he turns things around.

It's been a long time since 22...

Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa

Yesterday during work, a local restaurant, tweeted that Kevin Costner had just left after eating. Being a huge fan of Field of Dreams, I texted a friend that we should find him and ask him if he "wants to have a catch." I told my brother about this and he laughed that I wanted to play catch with Kevin Costner, but he knew I was serious.

Chatting with a friend last night, we somehow came to the topic of death and dying. We discussed relatives who had died, our experiences with those situations, and also if we were afraid to die. We both agreed that we were afraid to die young, but not afraid of death at an old age as it is how life ends.

The question was posed of what we would do if we knew we only had a week to live. We both agreed that we would spend as much time as possible with our families; that was the most important thing. My friend went on to answer about eating fine food and throwing caution to the wind. My only other answer was a bit less extreme:

I would want to play catch with my dad.

I'm not an overly emotional person and I haven't cried in almost nine years, but this thought brought an immediate lump to my throat (I didn't cry, for the record). Having just referenced Field of Dreams earlier in the day, all I could see is Ray and John Kinsella playing catch on that magnificent field in Iowa, both with tears in their eyes. The next few minutes were filled with images of my dad and I playing catch in our backyard: me having to run into the neighbors yard to find the ball I let get by my glove, Dad having to chase down the ball I threw over his head, the crisp pop of the ball hitting the heel of my glove, and the smiles on our faces when we'd walk inside together when it was finally too dark to see the ball.

What's my point in all of this sentimental rambling? 1) Field of Dreams is my favorite movie. I feel bad for Remember the Titans for being dropped, but the more mature, moved-away-from-home Moles will take Field of Dreams. 2) There is nothing more important to me than my family. 3) Playing catch is one of the best things ever. A friend of mine wrote an article for our college newspaper that world leaders should play catch to work out their differences. I believe that would work more times than not.

Over the next two and a half weeks, my dad will be in town twice to go see two concerts: B.B. King and Buddy Guy together, and Eric Clapton. The setting won't be our backyard for these shows, but we will definitely come inside after dark with smiles on our faces.

"Hey.....Dad? Wanna have a catch?"

"I'd like that."

[This will forever sit in my saved drafts folder. I often blog about sad and thoughtful topics, but never have I shared something that I honestly thought would make my parents cry when they read it. As much as I'd love to let them read this to know that I'd like nothing more than to spend time with them before I go, I can't put them through the thought of it.]