If fear hasn't killed me yet, then nothing will

A town.

The rains started and, seemingly, never stopped. It rained for more than 30 hours. And now, Nashville is under water. Jeff and I are safe and sound, never losing power or cable television all weekend. But there are many in the community who have not been as lucky. Tens of thousands went without power, thousands were evacuated from their homes, and hundreds had to be rescued by boats to avoid the rising waters.

The waters will recede, homes will be repaired and rebuilt, and Nashville will recover. The items destroyed, cars, homes, and a tragic number of people, will be missed, but never forgotten. We'll remember that weekend in May of 2010 that the town flooded, but we'll also remember helping our friends and neighbors stay dry and safe.

A church.

The sanctuary of Second Presbyterian burned in 2003. Just weeks before, a new pastor had been called to serve at Second. That pastor would rebuild not only the sanctuary, but the church. Second is everything the Presbyterian Church is not: we're young and growing. I wish all churches could witness the strong leadership that Second has; it is a truly amazing church.

Several weeks ago, our senior pastor announced he was leaving to be closer to his family in California. The news was shocking to everyone. We had come to love and respect Jim more than we knew. But because we are such a young and strong-willed church, we will go on just as Jim would want us to. We'll remember his strong faith and his desire to serve the local community and fight for social justice for all, but we'll also remember him as our friend.

A man.

Annie and I had never met, but we got each other. We were "introduced" by a mutual friend on Twitter (ahhhh the 21st Century...) and from there, it went. We talked daily, most days more than once, for almost two months. We discussed music, movies, politics, food, sports, relationships, family, and probably any other topic you could think of. Many nights, we'd end up discussing our fears; it seemed to be a topic we both thought of a lot. And most of those nights would end with Annie calling me on my shit, telling me to live life unafraid to fail, regardless how bad I might hate it. For those two months we talked, I was more of the man I strive to be than I've ever been before.

I haven't talked to Annie for two months. Even though we had never met, I allowed myself to fall for her. It wasn't what either of us needed, especially her, and caused our friendship to end. I hate that I think about her most days, but it's hard not to. I remember Annie's ability to take life as it comes, her willingness to face her fears, but mostly I remember her willingness to help me face my own fears.

A town, a church, and a man.

All three have been changed by something that is no longer there, but we're (hopefully) better for it because we have the knowledge gained. The people of Nashville will appreciate what they have, including their lives, knowing it could be swept away. The people at Second Presbyterian will continue to serve the community, using the tools Jim passed on to us through his leadership. And as for me, I have the lessons Annie taught me.

______________________________

I've been sitting on this blog idea for at least a month. I've started writing it at least three other times, never being able to find the words that matched the sentiment they contain. I was also hesitant to write about my personal feelings, not knowing who reads this. But if I can't blog about me liking a girl on the internet so that the whole world can read it, then what can I do?

I'm truly blessed to live in the town I do, attend the church I attend, and have the friends I have. Things might not always go as planned, but we survive because we have hope. What we each individually hope for is different, but we also hope for things on larger scales. Tonight, Nashville hopes the floods recede and we're able to resume "normal" life, Second Presbyterian is thankful the flood damage was minimal, and I am thankful for all that I have been given.

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." -James 1:2-4