I'd like to think I'm capable of doing things bigger than me

Tonight at our youth group meeting, we watched a film titled Peace One Day. It is about a man who took it upon himself to run with the idea of a worldwide cease-fire for one day each year. He met with numerous world leaders to discuss his idea and film their thoughts, to be used for promotion of the day of peace and also to show other world leaders. After meeting with the leaders and getting their blessings, Kofi Annan, then UN Secretary General, was set to announce, on behalf of the UN, a day of world peace. The announcement was set to take place outside the UN building in New York City on September 11, 2001.



Literally while a children's orchestra was playing before Annan was to make the announcement, the two planes struck the two towers of the World Trade Center. The film suddenly took a turn from a sense of accomplishment and excitement to fear and befuddlement. Watching the film at this point reminded me of a quote from John Mayer (surprise surprise) in the article he wrote to publicly declare his support for Barack Obama during last Fall's election.


Mayer writes, "I was 23 years old when the nation was attacked on September 11, 2001. I can remember hearing pundits say "this changes everything" and "things will never be the same." Obviously it was a tragic and traumatic event, but that sentiment has carried on through the better part of my twenties. If you were 43 years old on that day, I would imagine it was a difficult concept to get your head around as well, but if you were a young adult just entering his or her individual life, there was an added twist; how can you process the idea of everything changing and things never being the same when you have no point of reference for what "everything" and "the same" is? I was just beginning to put my hands on the world around me, to interact and engage with it, and to actualize the dream of being an adult in a free society. To wait in line for 23 years only to have the "sorry, future canceled" sign flipped in my face was depressing, to say the least."


This quote has to be almost exactly what Jeremy, the man who's dream was and is Peace One Day, was thinking on that morning of September 11th that we all recall so fondly. To have the dream of world peace, if only for one day, almost within reach only to have it snatched seemingly further away than ever must have been devastating. Obviously, our future wasn't cancelled literally, but the future we hoped for was certainly gone.


Jeremy continued with his efforts and September 21st of each year is now officially a worldwide Day of Peace, designated by the UN.


I am not anti-war and obviously not pro-war, as I realize it is sometimes a necessary evil, but the thought of mankind growing within itself to the point of being willing to lay down our weapons for one day is astounding. Keep in mind, no true cease-fires have taken place on this day, but it's the symbolism of it that fascinates me and hopefully several others. In 2003 alone, over 240,000,000 people worldwide celebrated this Day of Peace. I'd like to hope that come September 21st of this year that number will have grown dramatically.

A few things, mostly random, but certainly not 25

My favorite movies (in no order):
Remember the Titans
Braveheart
Super Troopers
Transformers
Saving Private Ryan
Dave Chappelle's Block Party
Love Actually
Field of Dreams
Dumb & Dumber
Saving Silverman
Garden State
You've Got Mail
The Shawshank Redemption

Movies I feel like I should have seen but haven't:
The Dark Knight
Good Will Hunting
The Godfather (any of them)
Caddyshack
Rudy
Raging Bull
Pulp Fiction
Scarface
The Karate Kid

Movies I don't understand peoples fascinations with:
Harry Potter (though I've only seen one and didn't really pay attention)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Princess Bride (funny, but not that funny)

Movies I used to watch one after another when I was sick:
Toy Story

Babe
________________________

The two signs that are most apparent to me that the economy sucks: 1. Halls is using one generic wrapper on all of their cough/sore throat/vitamin C drops. They used to have different wrappers for all of their products but now they're all in the gross yellow Halls wrapper that usually signals "gross cherry menthol flavor." 2. MLB free agents deserving of a roster spot on almost any team are not being signed. I took some time to put together a 25 man roster of free agents and compared them to the arguable worst team in the league, the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Here's what I came up with:

Free Agent Pittsburgh Pirates Advantage:
C Paul Lo Duca Ryan Doumit Pirates
1B Doug Mientkiewicz Adam LaRoche Pirates
2B Orlando Hudson Freddy Sanchez Free Agents
3B Joe Crede Andy LaRoche Push
SS Orlando Cabrera Jack Wilson Push
RF Ken Griffey Jr. Brandon Moss Push
CF Jim Edmonds Nate McLouth Pirates
LF Manny Ramirez Nyjer Morgan Free Agents
SP Ben Sheets Paul Maholm Free Agents
SP Livan Hernandez Zack Duke Push
SP Tom Glavine Ian Snell Push
SP Chuck James Jeff Karstens Free Agents
SP Mark Mulder Tom Gozelanny Pirates
RP Will Ohman John Grabow Pirates
RP Juan Cruz Tyler Yates Free Agents
RP Joe Beimel Craig Hansen Free Agents
RP Anbriorix Burgos Sean Burnett Free Agents
RP Dennys Reyes Jesse Chavez Free Agents
RP Julian Tavarez Matt Capps Pirates
B Garret Anderson Brian Bixler Free Agents
B Ivan Rodriguez Robinzon Diaz Free Agents
B Mark Grudzielanek Luis Cruz Free Agents
B Luis Gonzalez Steve Pearce Free Agents
B Jay Payton Ramon Vasquez Free Agents
B Miguel Cairo Eric Hinske Pirates

13 advantages for the Free Agent team, eight for the Pirates, and four ties. Keep in mind, this is my quick evaluation and I didn't match up players exactly how they would be on a depth chart, but it's pretty close. Also, the Pirates roster is filled with young, less-than-three-years service time players that make well under $1 million per year and the Free Agent team is full of veterans that all demand/require a salary of well over $3 million, so total payroll for these two teams would be remarkably different. But I think it's still very interesting to look at. Also, some of the veteran pitchers would need to be healthy, which most of them aren't right now, in order to actually be better than their younger, Pirate counterparts.

One more baseball thing: Everyone is wigging out lately over steroids in baseball. I agree, MLB is too far behind other sports concerning drug testing and penalties for positive tests. A-Rod coming out as a user surprised me as much as anyone, but he's still one of greatest players of all time. A lot of people who don't know the game will say he isn't because of the steroids. There's an easy way to prove those people wrong.

Any fairly fit, reasonably athletic person could do the following things if put in the situation: score a basket in an NBA game, score a touchdown in an NFL game or even catch or throw a completion in an NFL game. Any fairly fit, reasonably athletic person could not touch a Major League pitcher. I'll give you 100 pitches and you would not foul a pitch off. Unless you played college baseball, or the game at a higher level, you're not going to touch any current MLB pitcher unless they throw you a melon.

Hitting a Major League pitch is the hardest thing to do in sports. Some might argue hitting a hole-in-one in golf, but often times that's because of the chances of doing so are so small and has little to do with talent or ability. There are many other things that are very, very difficult, but hitting pitching in Major League Baseball consistently is the hardest of them all.

Now, go take steroids for a year and then try to do all of those things I mentioned earlier. You'd have an easier time playing a physical game like football and would be stronger on the basketball court, but they're still not going to help you but the bat on the ball.

I agree, taking steroids or other performance enhancing drugs is illegal and shouldn't go unpunished, but we should not take away anything that has been done in the past because of baseball, as an organizations, ignorance to their own problem. All of the statistics should count int he record books just as they do now; an asterisk is already next to those numbers in almost every one's head anyway, so what does a literal asterisk do to help the problem? I know I'll tell my children about baseball when I was growing up just like my father told me, so this era will not go forgotten.

Enjoy the opportunity to watch the players we have in the game today. Manny Ramirez is one of the top five pure hitters of all-time; Greg Maddux, Roger Clemens (as much as I hate him), Mariano Rivera, and Trevor Hoffman are four of the greatest pitchers of all-time; and Alex Rodriguez is the second best offensive player the game has ever seen (behind Babe Ruth).

Love the sporting world we live in if you enjoy sports. The NBA is the best it's been in 20+ years (I'm addicted suddenly), the NFL is as entertaining as ever, the NHL is...well, the NHL (Canada loves you), NASCAR, though it ruined its championship system, is filled with young and talented drivers, and if you aren't watching tennis, you should be. Rafa Nadal and Roger Federer are two of the best players ever; their rivalry, friendly as it is and should be, is something I wish will go on for years (and Federer wins every match in 5). Oh, two more words: Tiger Woods.

Pitchers and catchers report today!
B

We are one.

My America,

your America,

our America

is beautiful.

I must be butter

I'm making cilantro and lime marinated steak with either Trader Joes garlic fries or roasted potatoes. I'm finding my wanting to experiment more in the kitchen is costing me more money at the grocery, but I think it's worth it. My pork chops the other night were really good. I'm making rosemary pork loin on Saturday for a bunch of people who are coming over. I hope it's good.

I'm starting to feel like a woman always blogging about food. My brother got me a Tyler Florence cookbook, a strainer, and a peeler for Christmas. We already had a peeler, but it's the thought that counts; plus, this one is a lot nicer than the one someone had given us before I moved down here.

I think I like to cook good food because it makes both me and other people happy. It's kind of an instant reward competition type thing for me I guess. If I can make something really good, where I know it's good and other people like it, too, then I'm going to feel gratification for my efforts right away; almost a sense a of victory.

I recently purchased an XBOX 360 with NCAA Basketball '09 and a few other games. Having never really played any of this generations, or even lasts', gaming systems, I initially started the game on its easiest setting. I struggled at first to figure out the two joysticks and eight buttons, but got the hang of it after a few games and was quickly winning easily. Of course I picked Indiana State as my dynasty team, which was a good and a bad choice. It was good because I had a fairly easy schedule; it was bad because I had pretty bad players. Thankfully the ease of difficulty along with my ability to run the same play repeatedly made the game a lot easier than it really is. To make a long story short, I ran off 39 victories on my way to a perfect season and a National Title.

I decided I would start the next season on the medium difficulty level. My first couple games were against pretty good teams, but no one extraordinary. Keep in mind, at this point I was used to blowing everyone out by 20-30, and sometimes more, points in 26 minute games. My third game was against Syracuse at the Maui Invitational. Nothing I did in this game worked. They were the 12th ranked team, I think, and absolutely destroyed me. I ended up losing by 18 or 20. I constantly yelled at the television almost the entire game. I couldn't figure anything out to beat them or even chip into their lead. By the end of the game I was so mad I couldn't handle it. I had to put my mp3 player on and do the freaking dishes (which needed done anyways) to get my mind off it and cool off. My brother was ready to kill me at this point.

The moral of the story is I absolutely can not stand to lose. For example, I told a 16 year old I was going to punch him in the face if he didn't stop cheating during ultimate frisbee this summer. I would never punch a 16 year old in the face unless it were in self-defense or in defense of a friend or family member in trouble, let's make that very clear. That was just an example of my competitive drive.

So maybe this is why I like to cook. It's something I can gain a sense of reward and pride from without really doing anything. And my lack of physical ability has nothing to do with it. I can't imagine how bad I would be if I were in really good shape and had real talent at a sport I loved. Even if a sports team I rooted for were dynastically-victorious (that might be the coolest thing I've ever said), I'd be overly arrogant and annoying about them.

So why the crap am I a Cubs fan?

Good question. I gave a speech in college about why being a Cubs fan is the best thing in the world. It was in a sales class, so I had to pitch it to the class like a product. Most of them thought it was funny so they went along with it and I got an A. I think losing keeps me humble. If I were a Yankees fan or a Red Sox fan, I would definately be a different person that I am today. Watching my team lose year after year has made me a better person. I can't remember the other points of my speech, but that was the main one.

People from TN don't know what real cold is (says the kid from Indiana),
B

Too tired to sleep.

In church today, we reaffirmed our baptisms.  After the sermon (which was very good), the entire congregation stood, as they were able, and responded together to the traditional baptism ceremony questions.  Once we had affirmed our belief in God, Jesus the Christ, and the Holy Spirit, we were invited to the front of the church to touch the water in the baptismal font and, if we wished, touch or make the sign of the cross on our foreheads.

I must add here that for some reason I have always been very hesitant about things like this.  It's not that I don't want to do it, it's that I don't want to do it the wrong way.  Because I sit and watch each person before and after me do exactly what I just did, but in their own way, and then analyze it in my mind, I assume they are doing the same thing when I partake.  I know I shouldn't be this worried about others passing judgement on me, especially in church, but I am and always have been.

Watching those go before me this morning was different than any ceremony like this I've ever been apart of.  I've taken communion by intinction several times and been to many Ash Wednesday services or anointing, which are all performed in a similar fashion (the congregation goes to the front of the church and performs the act one by one, then returns to their seat).  This morning, it wasn't a rush to return to ones seat, after dipping a finger in the water, like it often seems.  This morning, it seemed like we really were all children being baptized.  Perhaps it was my own state of mind driving my perception, but it all seemed so calm and refreshing.

For the past 11 months, we've had a leak in the ceiling of our living room.  Our landlord has attempted to fix it on a few occasions to no avail.  About a month ago (it's been a long month), my brother and I returned home from work one rainy day to a constant stream of water coming from our ceiling and pooling about two feet from my sound system and television.  A few strategically placed trash cans and one harshly-toned e-mail later, we finally had real progress being done to fix the leak.  During this month, we've had many of the contents of our living room in our dining room in piles, which has made living in our apartment more difficult than normal.

This past week the holes the cut in our ceiling to find the source of the leak were filled and painted over.  Tomorrow morning, we're having our carpets cleaned.  By tomorrow night, I hope that our living room and dining room will be returned to their "normal" state.  We also had a new couch and chair delivered last week, so having new furniture amongst the mess only added to it.  Being able to arrange our furniture and set everything back in place tomorrow evening will probably take awhile, but it will be very rewarding to have our apartment back.

I spent most of the day Saturday at church helping to set-up for the youth group's carnival, silent auction, and talent show (all one large event) that were happening that evening.  It was a very long day spending more than nine hours at church, but a very fun day as well.  I have been working with the youth group here for almost a year now, but this weekend was the first event where I felt 100% comfortable with everything I was doing.  It takes a lot of time to get to know 20+ seventh through 12th graders.  This weekend was the first time I felt like I could ask any of them to help me, or any of the other leaders, and not feel uncomfortable doing so.

I hope this weekend stays fresh in my mind for many weekends to come.  It has been a very tiring weekend, but I'm almost too tired to sleep because of how excited I am for the days and weeks to come.  It has been a weekend where I've renewed my baptism and reaffirmed myself as a follower of God's only Son, Jesus.  It has been a weekend where I've (almost) got my apartment back and better than ever.  It has been a weekend where I've found a new church home here in Nashville.  I even genuinely rooted for Vanderbilt in their game against Tennessee today.

All of these thoughts come with a sense of guilt, like I'm turning my back on my church and youth group in Indiana and my Indiana State Sycamores, but if I don't realize that life moves on, I never will.  I love the youth I worked with in Indiana more than they know and I will come to love the youth I work with here more than they know, it comes with the territory.  I will always be a Sycamore and no one can ever take that from me.  And I will always be a Hoosier by birth, for the great state of Indiana is my home.

With those thoughts also comes great joy.  Two years ago I never would have fathomed moving away from home.  I am a better person for moving to Tennessee.  I am my own person because I moved to Tennessee.  I look forward for what's to come.  Thanks for reading.

-B

P.S. I'm reminded each year upon attending the Vandy/UT game that if, somehow, my children have southern accents, I will be giving them up for adoption.

I FORGOT TO ADD A TITLE!

I wore a sweater vest, for the first time, to work last week. My arms got so cold I had to go home and change into a sleeved-sweater. I'm not overly proud to admit this.

I listen to ESPN radio five or six hours a day; the last hour of Mike & Mike, three hours of Colin Cowherd, and two hours of Tirico & Van Pelt. I stop listening at 2:00 for some reason. Why do I love listening to Mike Tirico with Scott Van Pelt but switch to my mp3 player when SVP goes on by himself? I don't get it either, but it's what I do.

I don't use soap when I wash my hands at work because it smells like baby powder. I used the soap when I washed my hands after lunch. I regret doing this regardless how gross it might be.

I can't get the thought out of my head that I should move to Indianapolis in the fall. I love my life in Nashville and I know I will grow to love my new job, but Indiana is home. I don't think I'll move this soon though as I hate job-searching and am only in my second month of a job I have yet to even get a solid grasp on.

I listen to the same three or four songs every morning while I'm getting dressed and packing my lunch: In Your Atmosphere, Daughters, and Free Fallin' from John Mayer's "Where The Light Is." I do it mostly because I enjoy these songs, but also because they take approximately 15 minutes to play through and I know when I need to leave without looking at a clock.

I have over 12,000 songs on my computer. I would guess I've listened to maybe half of them at some point. I'm a music whore, but I have this idea that the best song I've never heard is floating out there somewhere and the only way I'm going to find it is if I keep looking/downloading/stealing.

Seriously, my hands reek of baby powder smelling green soap.

There should be hyphens used in the sentence above. You tell me where they go.

I'm currently hooked on NCAA Basketball '09 for my 360. I have my Indiana State Sycamores at 22-0 and ranked 9th. I'm only playing on the Junior Varsity difficulty because I'd never played the game before I started playing this season. I beat Illinois State 91-46 in a 26 minute game last night. I think I could step it up to the Varsity difficulty, but I'm so afraid of losing that I don't want to until next season when I have 4-star recruits coming.

I'm even afraid of losing in video games. I love it. My first Nintendo was a victim of my hatred for losing. I'm glad I've matured to a point where I don't beat my video games anymore. Those were the days...

I watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2 this Christmas season. They're both hilarious movies, with the original obviously being the best. I'd forgotten about the neighbor kid who tells them to bring him something French. The part where he's asking the van drivers questions cracks me up.

I haven't seen a John Mayer show in more than a year and a half. Rumor is he won't be touring again until the fall. Someone should probably make up some new rumors just to get my hopes up.

I'm making rosemary & olive oil marinated pork chops for dinner tonight. I hope they're good. I also hope I come home to a fixed ceiling in our apartment. It has had two huge holes in it for almost a month now and I'm sick of not having a livable living room.

There should be a hyphen there, too. It seems like I would just add them instead of commenting on it, but what fun is that? Blogging is about quantity and quality.

It's been approximately 11 months since I've had any fast food (I eat Subway, we've decided it doesn't count). I'm going to make it at least a year and who knows how long from there. The thought doesn't even cross my mind anymore to get it. I spend a little more money this way on food sometimes (on things like rosemary & olive oil marinated pork chops and roasted potatoes), but I know in the long run I'm better off. I don't know what switch flipped in my head where I just gave it up, but I'm glad it did. I have a lot of friends who tell me they could never give it up. I would have told you the same thing a year ago, but look at me now. I wish I had this kind of will-power and control with the rest of my life.

I like not having cell phone reception at my desk with the exception of about one square foot next to my desk phone. It allows me to text, but if someone calls me I can just tell them I don't have any reception and didn't get their call.

I probably shouldn't have said that last part...

I went on a mission trip to Arkansas with my youth group after my sophomore year of college. Our friend Derek, who is four and a half years older than me, went along. We'd drive by this mailbox everyday that was made out of an old plow. This is what we'd say:

B: You see that mailbox, dude?
D: Yeah, dude.
B: It's made out of a plow.
D. No way!

By about the fourth day we were really tired of saying that, but we'd do it every time we passed it. I can still see that mailbox in my head. Maybe she'll be mine someday...

If only,
B

P.S. I would never allow myself to have such a hideous mailbox.

Now, now, now there has to be a better way...

...sing it again now , better way to show I'm grateful. So I thought up this blog to show my appreciation for loving me so long. You don't know how much you mean to me. Cause even though when times got rough you were right there and I thank you.

If you don't understand that you need to go research your 1990's music.

What am I thankful for? It's a question that comes up almost too often, if that's possible, this time of year. It's a question that has ever-changing answers, yet some always remain the same.

Friends and family top the list. Then come the fortunate lives we lead. Then comes the varying feasts we will partake in tomorrow. What comes next? You tell me.

Or maybe I'll tell you, too.

I'm most thankful for the family and friends I have. We have become much more spread out in these past years, but being away has made me that much more thankful for them.

I am thankful for my new job. I have been here for three and a half weeks now and it is starting to feel very comfortable. I am thankful that it is a salaried position and I no longer have to deal with the stresses of commission, especially during this time of economic turmoil. It is the first position I've ever held where I didn't feel like I was the smartest person in the building at most times. It's a new, and thus odd, feeling but a great one. I have much to learn here from many, many great people.

I am thankful for the new church family I have grown to know in my 15 months in Nashville. Just in the last two or three weeks I have truly felt at home at church. I am thankful for the youth that I work with there. They make my Sunday evenings more enjoyable than they realize.

I'm so thankful for the little things in life that at times aren't important at all, but other times are the things that keep you going. I'm thankful for the big things in life that seem so far away but are right on top of me, all at the same time. I'm thankful for sports and competition. We're all human and not one of us is above any other, but for those two minutes of victory I am more than most.

I'm thankful that I live in the United States of America, the greatest country in the history of mankind. I'm so glad that I can live the life I choose to live and not be overly judged or ridiculed.

I'm so thankful. Thank You, and you.

My post a few weeks ago is possibly my favorite entry I've ever written. I have two pieces of writing I am particularly proud of; one is this blog entry and the other is a poem I wrote several years ago. I'll be sure to post it when the time is right (i.e. when the Cubs lose the World Series in 2010; I think I posted it on my MySpace blog awhile ago, so feel free to search for it there if you just can't wait).

I'm proud of that blog entry because I think it sheds some light on the person I truly am, but at the same time, I believe, it is powerfully written. I'm very calm when I write a blog because I want to focus all my energies on the words being typed; I was immeasurably calm when composing that entry. As I wrote, I felt like I should cry. Not because I felt like crying, but because I was so emotionally open with the words I put on that page. I often hear girls say they needed a good cry. I haven't cried in over seven years and do not need to cry.

I just needed a good blog,
B

P.S. You caught that 2010 line, right? The Cubs will shine in 2009!